Does your weight carry too much weight?
Recently, I shared my weight struggle and getting ready for the photo shoot for my upcoming book, Discover Your Nutritional Style, and how I turned myself around, fast.
I alluded to some emotional challenges too, and how I had some work to do in the self-acceptance area. And while this is not the most comfortable blog to share as a Nutrition Coach, I’m human. Here goes nothing!
I was stuck in the numbers game. Weight. Size. And I realized, in a humbling and awful way, that those numbers had the power to ruin my day. And it needed to stop. I know better.
Exhibit A: I’ve weighed myself every morning for as long as I can recall. I get out of bed, hit the bathroom, strip, and jump on the scale. But recently, when I was feeling especially stressed or anxious with a big what-ever coming up (TV, speaking gig, photo shoot, party), if I didn’t love what saw on the scale—my day was ruined. The bathroom scale depressed me. It made me feel horrible about myself.
Why should this flat piece of metal have such power over me? And what was wrong with me that I allowed it to? I know better!
Exhibit B: Also around that time, I was shopping like mad for an assortment of clothes for the shoot. We wanted to show the 4 seasons, although it was still snowing in Virginia, and I had boxes arriving here every day. I ordered some a size larger, to accommodate the change in my scale. I had to order multiple sizes of certain things, and go with what would photograph best. I liked the digits that I was used to seeing. These new numbers made me feel crummy and bad about myself too.
Why should a number on a tag have such power over me? And what was wrong with me that I allowed it to? I know better!
I coach clients on this issue, all the time. I’m really good at championing men and women to move beyond this kind of negative, self-damaging thinking. But you know the quote, “Healer, heal thyself”?
I know many women who have thrown out their scales, ditching it all together, and that works well for many of my clients and friends. But, for me, the scale wasn’t the problem, or the minor weight gain, it was my attachment to the numbers.
So, I stopped stepping on every day. It wasn’t easy but the scale and I go way back, and we had a chat. Scale, you don’t control me, and I refuse to give you the power to determine my mood and self-worth.
Everyday it’s my choice. To step or not to step. I cut myself a big break, and hop on when I’m feeling light and clear. Not the day after a party, or when the moons are influencing my water levels. (ha!)
I’m really enjoying not being tied to the scale. I’m tuning into how I feel, and my fitness. How I look in clothes, rather than what scale says.
Maybe you’d like to break these chains, too? I give you permission to just say “I know better!”.
Oh, and what about those label sizes? Yeah, they were leering at me from my closet. So you know what I did? I snipped out the sizes that day, and I continue to snip off the size as soon as I decide to keep something. It felt, and feels great to wear what I love and not a size.
I’m choosing not to play the numbers game here, anymore, too.
Women’s clothing companies have a huge inconsistency when it comes to sizing; designers cut large yet show a small size, just so you CAN feel good. And others, many European ones, stick to sizing that runs small.
Cut it out, and ditch the numbers. Are you with me?
Join me by going with what feels good to you. Exercise, move, drink lots of water, get some sunshine, and eat a clean, organic diet. Discover your Nutritional Style and learn what feeds you best, inside out.
I know I’ve lost most of that gain, but I’m not yet tempted to put it in numbers. Because how you feel is so much more accurate than a number, or a scale, or a tag.
Share with me how you have changed a negative relationship with your numbers, or appearance (or plan to).
You inspire me. I can’t wait to hear.
Anne / 5.22.2014
This morning I ate a raspberry chia pudding!.
Holli, I never had a scale, until I did this cleanse that required I step on one daily. I know. Sounds silly, but I get it. For this particular protocol it’s important to see the fluctuations in your weight, again, daily, despite cleansing and restricting foods. That was the point. I mean, of course you should be loosing weight, you’re eating far less and moving more, right? But that wasn’t the case. It was a real eye-opener for me. My body can vary 2-3 lbs a day—with no changes in diet! The body just does these things. Anyway, I digress. After the cleanse, I tucked the scale away.
This spring I chose to do this particular cleanse again. Then I remembered how rotten I felt stepping on the scale and seeing no shift downward, or when I stagnated at one weight for days—even though I was sticking to the protocol. It’s the moon, it’s my mood, whatever. I remembered feeling angry and bad and how the weigh-ins got me off-track. I felt like I wasn’t doing something right, or better yet, I wasn’t right. Which is different than how I usually move though the world—contentedly. So this year, I ditched the scale. I cleansed and knew I was cleaning the winter bulk away, body and mind. At the end of the 3 weeks, I felt lively and lighter and, and the number never mattered. Well, not 100%, I’m still kinda attached to that kind of validation, but I KNOW BETTER! Like you.
Holli / 5.22.2014
Jen, thank you for your insights and for sharing here. It’s all about what works for each of us, individually. And as you alluded to, it can change, depending on what’s happening in your life. In my case, the scale was part of a pile-on.. And like you, I now have it where I want it. Available, only if I desire. xxH
Amanda / 5.22.2014
This morning I ate oatmeal with berries and chia seeds.
As a health coach as well I am inspired by your post and honesty. Thanks for sharing and doing the important work that you do!
Holli / 5.22.2014
Thank you, Amanda! I appreciate your post so much.
stephanie / 5.22.2014
This morning I ate frittata with kale, shallots, garam masala and dusting of cheddar.
I threw my scale out years ago – I honestly have no idea what I weigh and frankly don’t want to (for fear of it ruining my day!). I recently went up in size, and while I initially freaked out and made myself miserable, I also decided to cut myself some slack. I eat well, but I know what is making the difference is lack of movement in my day. With work and 2 kids with the end of the school year craziness, I told myself to worry about it mid-June – and then get moving. Maybe I’m just postponing the head games but it made me feel better! Thanks for sharing and keeping it real! 🙂
Holli / 5.22.2014
Stephanie, I hear you! End of year, kids and summer is a head game enough.. I’m the same way when it comes to movement. Thanks for sharing with us. I appreciate you. XXHolli
Elly / 5.22.2014
This morning I ate Persimon smoothie with almond milk some LSA and a little honey.
I had a major operation late last year which stopped my activity dead. At the same time I appear to have started menopause – or at least the body changing part of it. Now I’m moving again and trying not to ruin my day with the scales OR the clothes that don’t fit. I decided to buy new jeans at whatever size fitted and ended up with a size 2. I’m practicing being kind to myself, eating well but not too much and getting enough sleep. Over time my body will get back to some kind of balance which might be smaller – or might be the same as right now, all we all can do is trust ourselves.
Holli / 5.22.2014
Elly, thank you for sharing your story. You’re correct in that your body will find balance if you take good care. XO
H.
Jackie / 5.30.2014
This morning I ate green smoothie with rice protein and spinach.
Excellent post Holli! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your experience with the scale. Very relatable. There were years when I couldn’t get on the scale because it determined my outlook on the rest of the day. I loved your, “I know better,” because every once in a while old habits come back and I have to check myself. It’s amazing how one little number can influence how we feel about ourselves. Our self-worth is SO much more than the number we see and I’ve witness how amazing I feel when I let go of the unhealthy relationship with the scale and start treating myself with kindness. I’m found when I let go of the obsession I eat healthier and stop beating up my body because I want to burn calories and opt for yoga to take care of myself. In turn am more positive, my clothes start fitting better and I am happier. Thanks again for sharing. xo
Holli / 6.5.2014
Thanks, so much, Jackie! I love that you shared with me. Congratulations and keep up the amazing work you do.