What’s under that dress? Body Image revealed
Unless you’ve been under a rock in the past week or so, you’ve seen the new Dove video where a portrait artist draws women in two ways; from their own description and from the description of others. The results are startling, as women describe sad looking, homely creatures, emphasizing their worst fears and insecurities about their face, their hair, and their skin.
The resulting portraits were, in most cases, unrecognizable. The other portrait described by a stranger, in all cases were kinder, and actually looked like the subject.
Sad, right? And true about women for the most part. We’re often our worst critics, harsh and unloving to a fault often about our own appearance.
The funny add on to this story is that somebody did a spoof on the way men view themselves, and in the original portrait a self described movie star appeared; guys described themselves as George Clooney look-a-likes, or Brad Pitt, when nothing was further from the truth.
Where does that body confidence come from? Are mothers raising their boys with more confidence than their daughters? Is it the media, women’s magazines and good old Barbie that begins impossible comparisons at a young age?
I had already seen both videos when I caught Bobbie Thomas on the Today Show last week. Bobbie is the Style Expert for the Today Show, and what I’ve always loved about her segments is that Bobbie seems like a real gal, in fact I just learned that she was a rape crisis counselor in her early career. That’s as real as it gets.
Bobbie shot a video of herself and a group of real women sitting around in their bras and Spanx, talking about their bodies- given that a bra and Spanx is my go-to under the dress outfit, it was like looking in a mirror, but what struck me again was that no one was really happy with their bodies.
Everyone of them said that they’d felt “fat” that week, expressed fear of bathing suit season coming up, and one woman complained that she didn’t have hips. These women expressed fear about their curves, and dismay at both having and not having them, and the result was one of confusion. (see the video below to watch)
Is every women this unhappy or insecure about their face or body? Are women today destined to a life of “not good enough”or has it always been that way?
I know I have days where I am happy with my looks, and it’s usually when I feel great, and have been taking care of myself with good food and movement. You knew I was going to say that, but it’s true.
I’ve been the gal who describes herself with discouragement and sadness, and I’ve lived in fear of bathing suit season, so it’s not automatic for me. I have to work on it.
I learned how to ramp up my nutrition, boost my moods and endorphins and get as good as I can get for where I am in life. I’ve never felt perfect, far from it, but I try to keep my foods in balance and self nurturing and love as part of my daily routine. Some days it’s hard, but other times, when its all rolling, nothing feels better.
Share your story here, and let me know how you feel about this topic. How satisfied are you about what’s under your dress? If you’re not, what do you do about it to get back on track?
PS Bobbie Thomas has a new book that I’m ordering called The Power of Style. I’m guessing it’s geared towards women of all sizes and styles.
Roberta / 5.2.2013
Very brave women indeed to sit around in their spanx on national TV. It is true what the one women said…MEN love curves and yet the fashion industry pushes a zero body type on the runway and in magazines. It’s funny…my hubby and I have always slept naked and now that the kids are all grown and gone…we walk around naked as we get up in the morning and go to bed at night. I have no problem with my hubby seeing me naked…in fact…he makes me feel beautiful. BUT when I stand in front of the mirror to get dressed…ALLS I do is pick myself apart…and FIGHT with my closet. It’s because I have a SELF-IMAGE of myself in my head of when I was like 25 and when I look at myself in the mirror and see myself now at 52…I’m like…OMG…who is that in the mirror!! It is always a work in progress to stop the negative self-talk. ONE thing that I have started doing is that I’ve STOPPED wearing spanx and anything else…like wired, padded bras…that make me feel uncomfortable. After all…how can I learn to accept myself and love my body if I’m always trying to SQUEEZE and SMOOTH IT OUT to fit into the industry standards of smaller and smoother is better? I’m all about comfort now…from the inside to the outside 😉
Holli / 5.2.2013
Hi Roberta!
I love that you practice self love daily! You’re an example to us all:) Thank you for sharing that story, and love you back,
Holli
Coleen / 5.2.2013
I’ve been happier about what’s under MY dress but I’ve been far more discouraged too. I am an IIN (Institute for Integrative Nutrition) student for over 6 months now and I am learning EVERY DAY to appreciate the body I have and also how to really take care of myself now.
It’s been an emotional journey: slowly changing my eating habits and adding exercise to name a few. There have also been changes in my social life, my home life and spiritual life too. Most changes have been positive; ultimately, all of them are or at least will be. I have a long road ahead of me but I know I am on the right road this time and for life.
I’ve always been able to see the beauty in others no matter what shape or size. I am finally recognizing my own beauty unconditionally.
Thanks for the opportunity to comment on your wonderful and important article. I am inspired!
Oh yeah! My favorite class at the gym? Aqua Fit! That first day in my swimsuit in front of strangers was a little intimidating but by the end of that class, I just felt great. I exercised! And I think I look pretty cute in my suit.
Holli / 5.2.2013
Hi Coleen,
You’re in the right place to learn self love at IIN! I applaud you getting in that water class! I just started a new Barre class, and it’s rigorous.. On my first day I had that feeling of “what am I doing here..” I felt crunchy and not at all like a ballerina, but after going 4 times, I’m starting to feel the flow, and I’m no longer self conscious about how I appear, how fit I am, or what anyone else thinks.
We’re all in there thinking the same thing; it’s so much better to send love out, to yourself and others.
And laughter helps too.
I’ve nicknamed our instructor, “Black Swan”.
XO big hug,
Holli
Rhonda / 5.3.2013
Hi Holli,
Powerful message. Interesting how we see ourselves and how others see us. Where do we get our images? From our circle and life experience. We can’t depend on the mirror, we need to develop who we are on the inside to radiate on the outside. Our lifestyle choices are a large part of it too.
I wish all women to be empowered from the inside. And may I impart that we are so much what we subscribe to; read, interests, care for others and how we care for ourselves.
Kindly,
Rhonda
Cassie Farren / 5.6.2013
What a great article ! This is a subject I am so passionate about I have set up my own business as a Body Confidence Trainer to help empower women and take back that control that so many seem to have lost.I have been there and got the T-shirt with a lack of body confidence but since turning that around I feel compelled to help as many others as possible. I watched that amazing Dove advert through tears…it has a very strong message. I think that body confidence is massively underestimated in how it can effect every area of your life…it’s almost irrelevant what you look like if you don’t feel good about yourself. I now educate women on starting on the inside…once we can change our mindset we can change our perception of ourself and once again begin to love our reflection,take back that control and appeciate and see ourselves as others do.